Why the fuck do I always want to kill myself

let’s list it

• I feel like I’m horribly mean even though I’m constantly told I’m not
• I’m ugly
• I’m fat
• I’m a disappointment to everyone
• people leave me
• I’m bored of life
• nothing likes going right for me
• I’m not special to anyone
• I wake up crying and I don’t want to anymore

yeah that’s about it. I would never kill myself but I really want to.